St. George, do you have a brother? For the snot monsters?

I'm learning that there are different types of snot monsters in this world. All snot monsters are not the same, nor are they created equally.

Mine is the lazy kind from Snot Monsters, Inc. She lets me feel really good for a few hours and then figures she's on the clock and better make it look like she's doing something, so she whaps me over the head and forces me back to bed for a while. I don't like her very much. She gives me a false sense of feeling better and then yanks the rug from under me. She's manipulative, too. She lets me think that one type of medicine is the cure-all, then decides she's stronger than the cold medicine the second time around. She's also a thief and violator of the space-time continuum. My earnings for the week are dwindling, no matter how much effort or hours I think I'm putting into it.

My husband's was just the opposite. He's a full-time employee, efficient, and apparently is due for a raise. One blow and he put Mr. Sapphire down for the count, but only for a day. He then moved on to pester someone else, leaving only a few irritating effects of his stay.

Tiger's Eye has a nomadic snot monster. He comes and goes. He's been pestering the poor kid for a month, riding into town, all guns blazing, and then he takes off again after a day or two. We are using megadoses of vitamin C. We hope it's like garlic to vampires.

ManCub's was the regular Joe employee at Snot Monsters, Inc. He came, did his job, worked half-heartedly, didn't cause too much of a stir, and only managed to keep ManCub home from school for one day. ManCub refused to be beaten by the Snot Monster and kicked him out of his life. We liked this snot monster. If you have to have a snot monster, I think this would be the one we'd invite back. Sad but true.

KitKat has the most insidious, rotten, evil snot monster I've ever encountered. This one takes over her voice and uses it to vent every piece of vitriol in her arsenal. She's vicious, daring me and taunting me, making KitKat demand that I rid her of the beast before ISAT testing next week. The vitamin C doesn't seem to be working; I guess the next steps are crosses and a good priest for exorcism. She allows KitKat all day without a cough, but as soon as she lies flat, the coughing begins. She won't let KitKat sleep and, as we all know, KitKat needs sleep. I'm afraid to wake her up in the morning because the snot monster only allows KitKat to fall asleep at 6:30 and someone (I've been chicken and sending her brothers) wakes her up and the snot monster helps KitKat send them downstairs, shaking, and informing me that the creature has risen from her vault, bringing KitKat with her, and to be ready. She's immune to medicine and makes KitKat's throat too small to accommodate pills, anyway.

I'm a stock market idiot. Does it make more sense to invest in the company that sells cold products or in the individual product, itself?