Are Your Frog Legs Fresh Or Frozen?

Hi! I know you're just DYING for an explanation on this one, right??? It started this spring, I believe, when KitKat entered la cocina while I performed dinner prep on the stove and counter. Looking over the array of hamburger, noodles, boiling pot of water and tomato sauce, KitKat asked me what was for dinner. :)

Heh heh.

I told her, of course, we were having frog legs. Her blueberry eyes widened and her mile-long lashes batted.
"Really?"

"Yep."

I put the noodles in the boiling water and unwrapped the hamburger (probably 90/10 sirloin, but, hey).

"Are we really having frog legs?"

My nose twitched and I pointed to the hamburger.

"No."

"Oh. Good. I don't think I'd like frog legs. Have you ever eaten frog legs?"

No. I hadn't. I had avoided that for 34 years and intended to keep up the tradition. However, in my distant, distant memory, I recall, about 1978 or 1979, a gathering of relatives down at my aunt's hog farm. Although pork was readily offered that night, the main event, you ask? Hunting frogs with cattle prods. Yes, zap, miniature lightning, pick up flaccid frog, put frog in bucket, deliver bucket with frogs to aunt, and let aunt cook them. I insisted that I never tried them. In fact, I have blocked the entire memory of frog leg preparation from my mind.

"Does Grandma eat frog lets?" KitKat asked.

"I don't know." My right eyebrow arched. "You know, I don't know. Let's ask her."

My mother still laughs about this. I called her, put her on speaker phone, with one question and one question only. KitKat sat on the bed and I sat at my desk.

"Mom, this is a really, really weird question, but...do you remember frog hunting back when I was really little?"

"Vaguely," Mom replied.

"Okay. Here's my question: Did you eat frog legs that night?"

KitKat and I waited breathlessly for her response.

"No, I don't think I did...that night."

I thought KitKat's eyes would pop right out.

"I like them from time to time. But you can't get the thin ones. They need to be thick and juicy."

Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech. KitKat clutched a pillow, about ready to die, half in horror and half in laughter.

"Okay, Mom. Thanks!"

"You're welcome, Dear," she said, a hint of "put that girl back on the prayer chain" in her voice.

¿Son sus ancas de rana frescas o congeladas?

This quickly became a big joke. If I perused the chicken, KitKat liked to ask if it was thick and juicy, because, you know, you can't have the thin ones.

Sind Ihre Froschschenkel frisch oder gefroren?

Forward a few months. Father's Day rolled around, and I stayed with Mr. Sapphire and the boys, and KitKat went with Pop (see him explained a little further down) to his home town with my mother, aunt and uncle to celebrate with him. There's something about this place that I know. I've seen the menu. Guess what's on it?

KitKat arrived home, and said she had a good time.

"Did you eat frog legs?" I asked her.

"No!" she yelled, and stamped her foot. She shrugged and sighed. "Aunt Sandy did, though."

"Were they thin or thick and juicy?"

KitKat rolled her eyes. "I don't know." She turned to leave her silly mother behind, but she gave me one last look. "She asked me if I wanted to try one, though."

I stuck out my tongue and made a hacking noise.

"Yeah. She waved it in front of my face."

I let it go at that for a while...but couldn't quite let it go completely. Pretty soon, I called KitKat into my office, with a burning question on my mind.

"Are their frog legs fresh or frozen?"

"Mom! I don't know and I don't care!" she claimed, and stomped off.

ваши лягушачьи лапки свежи или замороженны?

I, however, cared. In fact, I cared so much that I placed a call to the restaurant.

"I hear you have frog legs," I said casually.

"Yes, Babe, we sure do."

"That's great! Are your frog legs fresh or frozen?"

"Hun, we have to ship them in frozen."

"That's fine. Thanks!"

I did this with a straight face!!!! No chuckles. Nothing. I honestly tried to curb my enthusiasm,
but I shouted halfway across the house so KitKat heard me in crystal clarity.

"Their frog legs are frozen!"

I heard her stomp through the house, whining before she entered the lair of the SapphireTigress. "Mom, you didn't."

I smiled brilliantly. "Yes, I did. They are frozen." I immediately got on the internet. "Where do you get frozen frog legs?"

Www.google.com is a wonderful thing, folks. Frozen frog legs aren't that badly priced but, as you can see from the picture above, looking at those frog butts isn't too appealing; well, not to me.

είναι τα πόδια βατράχων σας φρέσκα ή παγωμένα;

If you're wondering about the weird green writing used as section breaks, they are all different languages in which you can say "Are your frog legs fresh or frozen?" Babel Fish is great for this sort of thing, but other languages, like Turkish, are a little more difficult.

This is what I have for the Turkish translation:

kurba—ga (frog)
bacaklar (legs)
taze (fresh)
donmuÕ (frozen)
senin (your)

I'm going to copy this into an e-mail for KitKat for her to read in the morning. She's just going to die that I've done so much research on such an inane topic. I'm getting a little better about it, but I still ask, while on a way to a friend's house, "I wonder if they prefer fresh or frozen frog legs?"

KitKat's grunt of disenchantment is worth every effort!